Choosing a partner is one of the most consequential and tricky decisions we will ever make, and the cost of repeated failure is immense. This book explains why we have the ‘types’ we do, and how our early experiences give us scripts of how and whom we love. It sheds light on harmful repetitive patterns and the extent to which we are not always simply choosing people who can make us happy. We learn the most common techniques we use to sabotage our chances of fulfilment and why, despite their costs, we unwittingly engage in them. This book provides a crucial set of ideas to help us make safer, more imaginative and more effective choices in love.
- Introduction: From Reason to Instinct
- Why We Fall in Love with Particular People
- Our Problems With the People We Are Attracted To
- Improving Our Problematic Instincts
- Obstacles to Finding Love
- Conclusion: Realism